The Times Made Me Do It

I’ve probably bought five lottery tickets in my entire life. I find the experience of actually buying the ticket terribly humiliating. I’m not sure why precisely but perhaps it’s because I’m publicly revealing my lower tax bracket. (How many people with a six figure income buy lottery tickets?) Or maybe having a ticket suddenly makes me feel part of a massive people machine, like I've lost my identity and I'm now a member of some government sanctioned cult. Or maybe subconsciously I think buying lottery tickets is immoral; throwing away money that could be donated to a favorite charity. But today’s New York Times article somehow freed me of my guilt and shame. (Yes, if the Times jumped off a bridge I probably would too.) So, the Mega Millions jackpot just climbed two dollars higher. But, I swear, when I bought my ticket at my regular deli, the clerk looked at me and thought “Oh, I thought he had money.” No, I don’t. But don’t worry, if I win I’ll keep writing my blog.