Last Night: Impressions and Traces

Friday 6 PM: we entered the hypnotic ambience of Project Issue Room (pictured) for their exhibition opening of Sensorium. The unique circular space feels like you’re inside a chicly redesigned missile silo. The electronic exhibition of various artists was at best eye-candy with wires—but nothing you’d want to take home and plug in. Artist Laure Drogoul performed her Portable Scentorium. One at a time, an audience member volunteered to be blindfolded and sit with her. As she passed various fragrant chemicals and herbal mixtures below their nose she asked the subject questions about their olfactory experience. Unfortunately the questions were too vague to elicit any interesting comments. It's an excellent conceit, but the performance needs more development to become a compelling live event. We left feeling strangely meditated and unusually hungry, so we hit Long Tan on 5th to inhale some Thai fragrance. Their pad Thai is always a pleasure and their ginger kamikaze is my drug of choice. And they’re happy to continue to enable my addiction. David the tall blondy bartending is pretty to begin with, but after four kamikazes you’ll be slipping him your number as you slip off your stool.

First on Ratner's Hit List

Ratner will begin the demolition of twelve buildings next week (listed above) to make way for his Atlantic Yards project. He must be excited. I can see him now stirring a boiling cauldron of concrete and screaming with devilish eyes: "It’s ready! It’s ready!" And then perhaps he fumbles a witch’s line from Macbeth: “Be bold, bloody, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of…me; for none of woman…woman? That’s right woman born shall harm MacRatner!” The Post implies a wrecking ball will bring down the structures. But will dynamite be used? If so we’ll definitely being hearing the roar of Ratner next week. The Slanter’s heading out to take some pictures of these historic buildings before they’re flattened.

A Theater To Call Our Own

The Gallery Players (14st btw 4th and 5th) is one of only, well, three theater spaces in our neighborhood (not including the off-Broadway behemoth BAM.) They currently have up a revival of the musical Violet set during the Civil Rights Movement. Martin Denton gives it a decent notice at nytheatre.com. The Gallery Players is a surprisingly large and comfortable venue. Their quality productions stand shoulder to shoulder with those at BAM, but with ticket prices at about a third the price.
(Photo by Jennifer Maufrais)

Wall of Wonders

There’s nothing like a good wall to stare at--this one in particular on Douglas near 5th. I’ve loved this wall ever since I moved here. It surprises me that after ten years the lavender painted blocks haven’t faded to gray. Nor has the wall been “revitalized” with a coat of paint that better represents the upscale brownstone life. There’s a mysterious beauty in the incongruity of this wall with the rest of neighborhood. When I pass it I always have a brief pleasant feeling that I’m standing on the outskirts of a desolate Caribbean town. Can you buy a wall of a building like you buy a condo in a building? I can’t afford a condo but maybe a wall. If this were my wall I’d put a chair and table in front it, sit down with a bottle of rum, listen to mambo music, and freeze my ass off until summer.

The Slanter Minds Your Beeswax

Overheard today on 5th Ave near Sterling:
“It’s basically like a paint we’ve been waiting for…and then David and I will be comfortable eating.”

Run into "THE UNDERMINER"

My fellow 5th Avenue friend and writer, Mike Albo, is writing a column for gawaker.com in the voice of his character The Underminer: The Best Friend Who Casually Destroys Your Life. I’ve known Mike for a really long time, and he’s getting really famous, and like we are sort of friends. I mean sometimes I hear from somebody else that he got my text message. I shouldn’t have said he lives near me. The quickest way to lose your famous friends is to tell people where they live. Okay, so he doesn’t really live near me, I mean it could be blocks or like miles away. So, anyway, I’m going over to Gorilla coffee right now. Sometimes I run into him there. It’s so cool when he looks up and waves.

Peruvian Highs on Fifth Avenue

El Pollo, the new Peruvian restaurant on 5th Ave between 1st and 2nd streets, opened its doors a few days ago. And it’s a gem. I ordered our meal for pick-up rather than delivery so I could enjoy an evening walk harbingering spring and also check out the restaurant’s ambience. Anytime I enter a new restaurant or bar I get a pang of anxiety as I open the door. But anxiety is not possible in this warm, pacifying space. The simple, candle-lit décor and peaceful eyes of owner Marzia Huaman (pictured) allowed my mind nothing but a quieted presence and an appetite. Marzia is only one of the owners, the rest are her family. She’s a humble charmer, who delights in telling anything you’d like to know about the Peruvian cuisine and culture. So, how was the food? Increíble! My entrée was the roasted chicken. The blissful taste of the seasoning, unlike too many roasted chickens in the Slope, went beyond the chicken skin--it was infused in every forkful of the meat. I started with the Papa ala Huancaina, perfectly boiled potatoes covered in a light cheese sauce. It was an enjoyable appetizer but a dollar or two too expensive. My companion started with the avocado salad—an even better start than mine. And considering the quality and freshness of the avocados, it’s a good deal. For his main course he had the Lomo Saltado. It engaged every one of my taste buds (when I was allowed a taste) with its skillful combination of stir-fried cuts of spiced sirloin, tomatoes, onions and peppers smothering a plate-full of crispy fries. I think it’s the nec plus ultra of the menu. I haven’t tried everything. But I will. Welcome, El Pollo. The Slanter is making a very good bet on you.

Bricks Are For Kids

In the Tossed and Found section of TONY they tell about a brick found around the corner from me on Douglas and 4th by designers Wary Meyer. They absconded with the brick to their frankendesign studio. Now that poor brick looks like a lump of pink carbohydrates. It’s not even a brick anymore. Now it’s a candle holder…for a romantic dinner they claim. Oh yea, nothing like a hot pink candy brick to make the heart patter. Anyway, we’d like our brick back, Wary Meyer. It was the friendly neighborhood brick. Every morning we’d see that brick out playing, dodging cars, chasing the rats… We miss him. We miss our dead gay brick.

The Slanter’s Good Bet for Friday Night

Issue Project Room (400 Carroll Str.) wants you to come smell the work of Baltimore based artist Laure Drogoul this Friday at 8 PM. She’ll be performing her “Portable Scentorium.” The last time I smelled a performance was when Penny Arcade vomited on the stage of PS122. As compelling as that was I don’t think Drogoul will be nauseating us with her “infusions derived from various fragrant flora.” We were graciously hosted by the city of Baltimore when our theater company performed there last fall, so a Baltimore artist in my neck of the urban woods gets my Good Bet. Visit Drogoul’s website to take her olfactory survey.

Correction: Issue Project Room has changed the time for this event...almost at the last minute. It will now start at 6 PM and end at 9 PM. I'm jumping in the shower now. I'll let you know what I smell. (Posted on March 2nd, 4:25 PM)

No Baseballs in This Glass House

It’s a sorry site on 4th Avenue between 1st and 3rd. That finely textured plastic wrap around the construction site of Con Ed’s new office building has fallen…or disintegrated. No surprise since it’s taking them a mysteriously long time to build a by-the-book plain glass Orwellian-looking sit-in-your-seat-and-work place. But the Ministry of Energy seems to be compensating for the drear with a garish entranceway—one better suited for a Virgin Records store. I’m sure it will make all their employees feel a little better as they walk into a two-block box of air. Did you know that before 1912 this site was the ballpark for the Brooklyn Dodgers? It was called Washington Park. When the Dodgers abandoned it for Ebbets Field in 1913, the Brooklyn Tip-Tops of the Federal League made it their home. You can read more about it here at Forgotten NY.

A Curry Quandary

I was on my way to Delices De Paris (9th Str. btw 5th & 6th) for their splendid chai latte (consistently served steaming hot) when I was faced with this horror. Rarely do sidewalk signs deliver bad news. Terrible news in this case. The Chip Shop (5th Ave & 6th Str.) has closed their adjacent Curry Shop. This was the best place for Indian cuisine on or around 5th Avenue. I barged in and asked why…tell me why! They’re “downsizing,” they said, to concentrate their efforts on The Chip Shop. Hmmm. I don’t know if I buy it. Those fish and chips can’t get any better. I see throngs of people day and night risking years of cardiovascular health for those deep fried wonders. Someone raised their rent I’m thinking. And that selfish someone didn’t consider my needs first. The chef is keeping the chicken tikka masala on the menu. But sorry, not good enough. I want my vindaloo. So now I’ll have to settle for Star of India (5th near President Str.) Their dishes are way overpriced considering the cheap cuts of meat they use, but their delivery service is fast. By the way, I never got my latte. Delices De Paris is closed for the next week. They had something scribbled on their door about a burst pipe in the basement. I adore that place so I wish them good luck in their repairs.

Opposite Side of the Street Rebellion in Effect

Someone tell the mayor we moved our cars but he forgot to tell the street cleaners to sweep the streets. I mentioned in my last post that I would listen and watch for the sweeper, interested to see how it could be driven over mounds of snow. Where I sit at my desk allows me to look out onto my street. I never heard or saw one. “Of course you didn’t,” said my neighbor. “You can’t drive those sweepers over all this snow.” No, of course you can’t. Did anyone see a sweeper out today? Perhaps the mayor should stop taking the subway and walk the streets to see what is so apparent to everyone in the city including the people who drive the sweepers. I want my ten minutes of law-abiding time back. And I want back the better parking spot I had. Darn it.

Neither Snow Will Stop the Sweeper?

311 declaimed that unfortunate phrase today: opposite side of the street parking is in effect. I swear I could hear a hint of jubilance in the voice recording. So I spun the wheels of my car in the slushy snow and obediently doubled parked my car on the opposite side. But on the opposite side of the opposite side were mounds of snow and ice where our cars had peacefully sat. So, as I write this, I’m listening for that big, mean, unmistakable sound of the street cleaner. I’m interested to see exactly how the cleaner will clean this snowy mess. Or, perhaps it will never come, or perhaps it will sail by in the the dead center of the road and the driver will give me a shrug and say, “I clean streets, not snow.” Perhaps that city rule with the obnoxiously long name should have been suspended today. I’ll let you know what happens.

Good Neighbors And One Very Bad Neighbor(g)

The Park Slope Courier reports that the not-for-profit organization Fifth Avenue Committee received a unanimous vote approving their plan to convert a vacant lot at 575 Fifth Avenue “into affordable and supportive housing for the formerly homeless and mentally ill.” Cheers to FAC for their blood, sweat and tears of joy. Michelle de la Uz, the executive director of FAC, says “This is not a clinic, hospital or treatment facility... We help people live and work with dignity.” Truly Fifth Ave is a great place to find work, a life, and a lot more dignity than being quarantined off in some remote industrial site of Brooklyn. The Courier reports there were few dissenters who spoke publicly. One who did was an especially frightening resident of our dear Park Slope: Ms. Patricia Arias (of the Aryan race?). She accused FAC of acting “covertly to conceal the project from residents.” She went on to say that the future tenants would be “better served in a mental facility… We can’t afford to lose our parking.” Well there’s definitely one mentally ill person on the Slope. Perhaps Ms. Arias would be better served in the suburbs.

Do Say Make Think: Must See!

Since it's only two blocks from my apartment, you'd think I'd be a regular at Southpaw, that great big music venue across from Key Food. Well, I'm not. But I'm always checking out their calendar, and sometimes that little known band that I think no one else in the world knows about except me is booked. Like the brilliant math-rock band Do Say Make Think, playing on March 28th. Do not Say that you can't Make it. At least Think about it. Their elaborate instrumental arrangements gather like a super-cell over the mid-west wheat fields and erupt into crescendos that will make your eyeballs twirl. "& Yet & Yet" is I think their finest work. You can read a review of it here on pitchfork.